This is NOT a hoax!!
by Arcanine
Summary: This isn't a hoax! Lots of weird information contained, as well as...a conspiracy! Miaka wants to know what day it is, Tamahome thinks a tree is really Miaka! Mitsukake thinks Gollum is out to get him! Nuriko stalks Hotohori! Chiriko knows what's going o


This is NOT a hoax, as I've said with the title.  I heard SOMEWHERE that there will be a Fushigi Yuugi movie, yes a movie!  A movie of Fushigi Yuugi!  It's kind of like a rhyme.  I'm hyperactive at this time!  So it's rhyming and—oh, yes, the movie!  It will have lots of weird yaoi pairings in it, as well as featuring the Seiryu seishi a little more than normal.  And the twins.  Lots of the twins.  And Tasuki/Chichiri pairings, Nuriko/Hotohori, and that's all I know so far…It's going to be released on tape soon, but I'm not sure when.  

A meteor is going to crash into the Earth on February 29th of next year, and it will cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum which will destroy the barrier between fantasy and reality.  The FY guys will all come to our world, as well as numerous clones of them, so there's enough to go around!  ^_^

There was an interesting story on the news today—do you know what it was?  A supposedly crazy blue-haired guy and some of his friends ran around China today acting, well, crazy.  He got on an airplane with six other people, and they are in the USA right now.  THEY ARE WANTED MEN!  Or possibly women, as two of them are suspected to be.  If you spot any 7 people running around together, please contact your local authorities.  One is a pyromaniac, one claims to be a monk, one is obsessed over money, another is a midget genius, one has purple hair, one is a narcissist who will look in any reflective surface, and another is possible a lunatic doctor.  

And now onto the story!  Read on, fellow fanfiction psychopaths!  Or something like that.  

**This is NOT a hoax!**

****

****

          "Tamahome…"  
          "Miaka…"

          "Tamahome…" 

          "Miaka…"

          "Tamahome…"

          "Miaka…"

          "Tamahome…" Miaka said, actually following up with a sentence.  "Do you know what day it is?"

          "No, Miaka…"

          "Ok, Tamahome…" 

          "Miaka…"

          "Tamahome…"

          "Miaka…"

          "Tamahome, I have to go now…" Miaka said unhappily, as she ran away from Tamahome, who didn't hear her, and continued talking to a nearby tree.

          "Miaka…"

          "…" said the tree.

          "Miaka?"

          "…"

          "Miaka?!"

          "…"

          "This is not making much sense…"

          "…"

          "Or any dollars, either…"

          "…"

          "Miaka, are you dead?"

          "…"

          "MIAKA!  SOMEBODY, CALL A DOCTOR!" Tamahome yelled, running off to find a doctor—preferably, Mitsukake.  

          "Hey, Chichiri!" Miaka called cheerfully to the monk.  "Do you know what day it is?"

          "It's Monday no da." Replied the monk.  

          "OK." Miaka said, smiling, as she left to find Tasuki.

          "Hey, Mitsukake!" Tamahome yelled at the normally silent healer.  "I think Miaka's dead!"

          "Quick, take me to her!" Mitsukake replied, jumping up from his position in front of the TV (yes, a TV in ancient China!).

          "MEOW!" yelled Tama-neko, who was sleeping on Mitsukake's shoulder the whole time, until he was rudely awakened.  

          Tama-neko fell into the empty popcorn bowl, which Mitsukake had just moments ago finished.  Why was Mitsukake eating popcorn?  I have no idea.  As you know, I am hyper and this is a humor fanfic.  That should explain it all.  So Mitsukake, who had recently become a couch potato who liked popcorn, followed Tamahome to the "dead" Miaka.  Otherwise known as a tree.

          "Tasuki, do you know what day it is?" Miaka asked.  "Chichiri told me, but I forgot!"

          "…" muttered Tasuki, who was having a hangover from drinking too much sake the previous night.  "I dunno anyyyything…"

          "Really?  Join the club!" Miaka said cheerfully, running off.  "I'm going to find Hotohori and Nuriko now!  Oh wait!  That sounded bad, like they would be together or something…"

          So Miaka pranced off joyfully to find Hotohori, and THEN Nuriko.

          "So, what's wrong with her?" Tamahome asked Mitsukake.  "Is she going to be alive?"

          "Tamahome…" Mitsukake said.  "Do you know that this is a tree?"

          "A TREE?!" Tamahome yelled.  "SHE'S THE SUZAKU NO MIKO, AND NOW YOU CALL HER A TREE?!"

          "Tamahome.  Look." Mitsukake pointed.  "Bark.  Branches.  TREE."

          "Stop touching Miaka, you hentai freak!" Tamahome yelled, slapping Mitsukake.  "My precioussss…Nasssty healer won't touch you, no he won't…"

          "AAAH!  GOLLUM!" yelled Mitsukake, who had a bad dream where Gollum had come to kill him just last night.  "HE'S COMING FOR ME!"

          So Mitsukake ran away, screaming.  No, I haven't had any dreams about Gollum coming to kill me, I just thought it would be amusing for Mitsukake to have that dream.  I also had a dream where I was talking to someone who thanked me for heroin, when I don't sell drugs.  I get high off SUGAR!  Bakas…

          "Hotohori, do you know what day it is?" Miaka asked Hotohori, who was looking in the mirror while Nuriko snuck around in his room, stealing things.

          No, Nuriko wasn't a kleptomaniac.  He was just stealing stuff to add to his "Shrine to Hotohori-sama" which he kept hidden away in his house somewhere.  Oh wait.  Where would Nuriko's house be?  Is Nuriko dead in this fic?  I DON'T KNOW!  Hard questions are bad for your mind.  Well, just leave it at…  "He was stealing stuff to add to his shrine to Hotohori, which he kept somewhere secret."  Much better!

          "No, Miaka.  I am too concerned with my beauty for such things to matter to me anymore." Hotohori replied vainly, and continued to look at himself.  

          Err…that is, looking at his face in the mirror.

          "Nuriko, do you know what day it is?" Miaka asked.

          "I'M NOT TAKING HIS SHIRT!" Nuriko yelled, startled, and jumped 15 feet.  "Oh, Miaka.  Uh—what are you doing here?  I don't know what day it is, either…" 

          Nuriko quickly grabbed one of Hotohori's shirts and stuffed it into a bag before anyone else could witness what he was doing.  

          "Ah, ok, sure." Miaka said.  "I'm going to find Chiriko."

          Chiriko's quick vocabulary…corner…thing!  A photo-klepto could be someone who has the urge to steal photographs!  Or maybe it's someone who saves lots of FY pics to their computer and drools over them…  

          "Hey, Chiriko!" Miaka called to the little genius.  

          Just how was Miaka getting everywhere so quickly?  Why do you ask so many questions?!  It's the power of fanfiction.  Are you happy?  Good.  I'm very happy.  In fact, I'm giddy from all the sugar I had today!  Chocolate is yummy…  It wasn't M&Ms, but it _was_ chocolate.     

          "Yes, Miaka.  I know what today is." Chiriko said ominously.

          Don't kill me for using your word, Voldy!  Hehehe.  

          "You do?" Miaka inquired, finally doing something OTHER than asking.  Yes, see!  I used another word for asked.  It was getting boring, wasn't it?

          "Of course I know!" Chiriko replied.

          "Good." Miaka said.  "The others will never expect anything!"

          "Right!"

          (Tamahome, meanwhile, is attempting to feed "Miaka" and isn't succeeding.  He is talking to it in an obsessive Gollum-like manner.  You know Gollum, don't you?  From LOTR!  Tamahome's "precioussss Miko" isn't talking back, but that isn't stopping him.)

All I can say is…I'm too lazy to write a Seiryu chapter, plus I don't have much time left before I have to get off the computer tonight.  The Seiryu chapter would have Yui asking everyone what day it is, and only Amiboshi knows what's going on.  I will write another chapter about what nobody is expecting, but all I can say for now is…

CHECK YOUR CALENDARS!  What day is it?  Oh, before you look, can you review please??  ^_^


End file.
